K.n.i.h.t

A few years ago, summer of 2007 to be exact, someone wise and old said i was a thinker. He said that i drew, that i read and she is a thinker. At that time i was thinking why am i a thinker?

Does all the things i do, which is different from others' mean that i am a thinker. Yet i'm thinking all time. Even more as days go by. And now i'm thinking he was right. [still thinking now.] I think too much. Most the time i'm somewhere else. When someone gives me chores, when someone's telling me what to do. Some of these times i'm thinking i think way too much. But not like i'm thinking on all these occasions on some i''m not, on some i'm too concentrated on something else. Which is bad. Like some kind of syndrome, too complicated to express. I'm thinking at lessons. Which is bad, i'm thinking when i'm talking to someone, i'm thinking when i'm reading, which annoys me so much, sometimes you end up readin the same page, same word, same paragraph, same sentence over and over and over. You realise that you were not concentrating so you read again, still your minds thinking why am i not concentrating. My mind is thinking too much like the way someone does meditation when they're not ready, and they can't control it, and they loose, like drowning and floating. Sometimes i'm thinking maybe, that is what's happenning to me. Yet i'm thinking all the same and keeps thinking.

I am thinking about what i did, i'm thinking about what i'm doing [but not in a way u think, whatever u're thinking you are wrong], i'm thinking about how some some people have chances while others don't, i'm thinking how someone is dying yet someone else is surviving, i'm thinking how can someone help someone, i'm thinking how can some people be unbelievable in such a bad way, i'm thinking how some people can talk and laugh and eat and drink in front of someone who is so so helpless, i'm thinking why i'm thinking, i'm thinking how come i'm so stubborn, i'm thinking what i should do, i'm thinking about what could happen, i'm thinking about what has happened, i'm thinking about what to say, i'm thinking about imagination, i'm imagining things, i'm thinking about how can i walk when the grass is beneath me, i'm thinking about what i used to think, i'm thinking wheteher i dreamt it, or whether did it really happen, if it did, was it me, or was it someone else, i'm thinking about what to do the next day, i'm thinking about how i talk too much, i'm thinking about what i did wrong, i'm thinking about what i want, i'm thinking about you, i'm thinking about how there's so many people who are stupid, yet there's maybe more people who is great, i'm thinking what i'm looking is so beatiful yet people don't notice it, why don't they notice it, why doesn't anyone one stop and see, why doesn't anyone not care, i'm thinking about that moment, the moment where all the greatness happens, i'm thinking what i used to feel, i'm thinking how the world is so harsh, yet it is so beautiful, i'm thinking what they haven't seen or known that i should be telling them, i'm thinking people talk about themselves, i'm thinking how i look, i'm thinking i don't know what i look like, but i know what my family, friends or someone i met at the street looks like, i'm thinking i'm stubborn, i'm thinking what ifs, i'm thinking how to do good, i'm thinking how not to do bad, i'm thinking whether i should do it, i'm thinking i'm wasting time,, all the same i'm stiil thinking, i'm thinking in my dream i'm thinking so don't talk, i'm thinking i had this dream before, i'm thinking does he love me, i'm thinking maybe he did and i blew it, i'm thinking why, i'm thinking what i want to do, i'm thinking where i wan to go, i'm thinking what i should do when that happens, i'm thinking happy, i'm thinking i talk less when i'm thinking, i'm thinking while i'm talking, i'm thinking what i hope, i'm thinking what i wnat people to know, not to know, what i said, haven't said, what i should have said, should have done, but missed my chance. i think maybe i'm wrong about these shoul have, would haves, i'm thinking and wondering about things everyone except me knows about, i'm thinking why i miss thing everyone sees, i'm thinking but i see things no one does, i'm thinking maybe there's someone just like me someplace else, i'm thinking what's underneath my feet exactly on the other side of Earth, i'm thinking how the world is more different, i'm thinking how everything changes, i'm thinking how i let someone down, i'm thinking about the shopworker i was horrible to, even though i didn't mean it, i'm thinking i should do it, i don't wanna miss a chance just because i didn't ask, i'm thinking what i'd be saying and what the other person would be saying, how it would be wonderful, i'm thinking what i would do and what that someone would do which would so romantic, i'm thinking about how there's no one, yet there's everyone, i'm thinking if that happens that happens, like if you look back you like me, i'm thinking how dreaming is so wonderful , how you can see things, feel experiences, like love, fear, which you have never felt, i'm thinking how i feel a little proud which is bad, i'm thinking maybe this all not, i'm thinking people are who they are, if they pretend then pretenders they are, i'm thinking i can do it, i'm thinking i can't do it, i'm thinking how dare i think, how dare i feel, but still i feel, still i fear, still i thin, i'm thinking i'm so this i'm so that, they's this they're like that, i'm thinking whether i can live without my family, i'm thinking how things are hard, i'm thinking what i can do, i'm thinking why no one does, i'm thinking if i love him, what is love like, i'm thinking about things, i'm thinking about places, i'm thinking about people, i'm thinking to him everyone, to me everyone except you, i'm thinking what id would do, what i like, what i fear. i'm thinking about what else could be thought, what else is left to see, what else is left to discover, i'm thinking how, i'm thinking about things i know, things i dont' know about, i'm thinking about things i saw, see, i'm thinking about things i had never laid eyes on, i'm thinking about people i met, i'm thinking about people i see but don't talk to, i'm thinking about people i never saw, i'm thinking about characters, i'm thinking about whether the person i dreamt really exist, i'm thinking the animals i met, i want to meet, i saw, i imagined, i dreamt, i want to pet, i'm thinking the universe, world is so big who knows what else is out there, what can't be out there. i'm thinking about thoughts, dreams, imagination. Most of which is human brain. I used to think when i was little, the land the grass hurts when i walk, the plants underneath hurts, so if i learn to float on air, but what if the air hurts, how can i not hurt no thing. I'm thinking what kind of people i like, what kind i do not. i'm thinking about everything yet everything that can be thought, everything that could be thought, everything the world has discovered so far. But mostly i'm thinking about nonsense.